Cold Feet

The term cold feet signifies a pending feeling of apprehension or doubt strong enough to prevent a planned course of action. Having cold feet, generally, signifies a state of ambivalence leaning towards "no".

Mmm... its a chilly night... so perchance I am thinking about this term. For a long time, I had thought this term referred specifically to pre-wedding jitters, but according to this entry in Wikipedia, it can refer to any apprehension about making a commitment. A quick google however, (and of course, google is the most authoritative text) shows that the term is used today primarily in the context of relationships. Here's one of the more eloquently written entries:

"You feel paralyzed by fear of the future: isolated and alone, unsupported family and friends, none of whom seemed to understand what you are feeling. Your relationship has taken on a new seriousness and permanence, and that’s just plain scary. What’s more, your relationship, once intensely private, has now become public property."

Now, I've never been married before, but I'm had my fair share of "cold feet" when it comes crunch time on life-altering decisions. I don't think remaining commited itself is difficult - I see myself as a fairly commited person. What I do believe is difficult is making the decision to commit - because invariably one is plagued with self doubt about the decision made. This can happen when considering whether to pursue a relationship, choosing a career or university degree, or making a decision regarding ministry. You question whether the decision you have made/are making is the appropriate one, and agonise over details and timing.

I wonder whether it is only natural to, at the point of making a decision, revisit the whole situation with a more critical eye?
Or is it simply that we lack trust in He who holds our lives in his hands?
Is it wisdom or foolishness?
Pragmatism or paranoia?

Definitely a point to ponder. But for now, I'm just going to put on socks and go to bed. Goodnight world!